time
I’m sitting here thinking to myself, “what should I write”? It makes me wonder why I got a tumblr in the first place. Oh yeah, to remember daily activities and events that happen to and around me. Well nothing has been happening, or at least that is what I tell myself. And yet time has been passing like a random snowfall in LA (now you see it, now you don’t). Where has the time gone? Every year, I feel like time is passing faster and faster. For example, it has been 4 years, yes 4 years, since I graduated college. Wasn’t I just in Hawaii having fun with my friends and being carefree? Fastforward two years and I am back in school working on getting my Master’s degree and having bright dreams of being a future teacher. Just last year, I was on a high - I just finished graduate school, my fiance completed his EMT program, we were going on 2 cruises in 6 months, etc, etc. All of a sudden my life came completely crashing down when my dad passed away. Yes, he was sick and we knew it was coming. We just didn’t know when or how soon. Funny how just a few days before he passed, I told my fiance that I shouldn’t take these days for granted (days when my dad didn’t have any pain and he was happy and enjoying life). And yet, I feel like I’m taking my own days for granted. Where have these past 5 months gone. I swear I feel like I have been a zombie, wandering aimlessly without a real though in my mind. Now I know many people would say that feeling this way is expected. How can I deal with reality when part of me is missing? Yet another part of me is saying “HELLO!? DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT YOU NEED TO MAKE THE MOST OF THE TIME YOU ARE GIVEN?” I know I am young and I don’t really know if I believe that “the end is near”. But I still think I should be living everyday and feeling everyday rather than letting time pass over me and wondering how in the world is it already 2012. I feel like part of the movie, “Click”. Time stood still for a moment and rather than continuing at normal speed when we pressed play, it fast forwarded to 2012 instead. I am not too sure how to slow time down but I do know that I need to start living, in the moment and fully aware of all that is going on.
